nce upon a Torch Lake summertime, there lived a gentle race of creatures known as the Dinkies. As their name suggests, these beings were small in stature. But though small, those Dinkies were oh so clever! While most magical creatures excel at one magical talent (the leprechaun guards his gold, fairies sprinkle dust), the Dinkies could do it all, and their cities, towns, and villages were said to look much like our own (only much smaller and in most cases invisible). Though reported sightings of the dinkies have been scattered across hundreds of years of Michigan history, these tiny and clever creatures were long thought to be the stuff of legend. That is, until the Spring of 2021, when-irrefutable evidence of their existence and doings began appearing in Alden, MI.
Now, as I have told you, the Dinkies are a busy lot, with as many different Dinky occupations as there are Dinky hearts. Can you find the evidence which has appeared in Alden, MI off our Dinky dwellings?
#1 The Keeper Dinkies (lighthouse)
As the sun sets across Torch Lake, Mother Dinky takes to her knitting and Father Dinky
climbs the steps of the lighthouse, to set its guiding light ablaze. What is little Dorothea Dinky doing? Who knows—but probably something very naughty! 1he littlest Dinky of the lighthouse is young, only about 268 and a half years old, and she is rather mischievous, playing practical jokes on the Alden Dinkies and humans: switching their sugar with salt, tickling sleeping toes, and trying to catch a ride on the town squirrels. When something
gets spilled or misplaced, you can bet that it’s little Dorothea up to her Dinky tricks!
#2 The Explorer Dinkies (depot)
From what I have told you, you may think that the Dinkies are all work and no play, but
this is certainly not the case. Next to muffin crumbs and lake surfing, traveling is a Dinky’s favorite thing! Though the Dinkies love their snug homes on the shores of Torch Lake, several times per year, they pack up their suitcases and travel a great distance, visiting Dinky family and exploring the Dinky Wonders of the World. Although you may not be able to see them, the waiting room of the Depot is crowded with adventurous Dinkies! Can you tell by the luggage tags on Delbert Dinky’s suitcases where he has roamed?
#3 The Crumbsweeping Dinkies (Muffin Tin)
If you ever find yourself in conversation with someone doubting the Dinkies existence, you may pose a simple question to them: “Tell me, tiny disbelieving friend, if not a Dinky, than who do you believe sweeps the muffin crumbs falling to the floor of the famous Alden Muffin Tin on a busy day?” And if this troublesome person still gives you guff, just ask them. ”Furthermore, who empties the Dinky letterbox outside of the Crumb sweepers door, if not its resident Dinky, herself?”
Now you will have that doubter in a bind! And once you have proved yourcase, be sure to write a letter of your own addressed to Miss Doris Dinky, thanking her for her diligent crumb sweeping and telling her all your business. Of course she will receive it if you leave it for her in the small letterbox! And in this fashion she will be happy to forward any other letters to her Dinky pals. After so many years of being invisible, they do so love to hear from you
#4 The Climber Dinkies (playground tree)
The oldest known Dinky Door may be found in a tree overlooking the playground, having been established there by Dinky Alden homesteader, Great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather Duff Dinky, who came over from some place that was not here, on a rickety boat that is no longer. For its known history, this special door has been guarded by children, who seem to be able to see the Dinkies more clearly than their adult counterparts, who tend to keep too busy trimming beards and watching game shows. Only when the last eyelid of the last Alden resident has dropped off to sleep each night, does the lantern at Duff Dinky’s abode flicker on, and Great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather Duff Dinky himself sits upon the branch outside his door, puffing on his pipe, swinging his short legs, and enjoying a long think.
#5 The Dipper Dinkies (Lakeside Dip)
The Alden dinkies have many things in common with the Alden humans, and one of those things is a love of ice cream! As spring melts the ice from Torch Lake, the dinkies begin dreaming of a sweeter chill: cookies and cream, bubblegum, and cow tracks . . .Though dinky cones are much smaller than human-size scoops, dinkies actually consume more tonnage of ice cream per year than their human counterparts. This high demand keeps Betsy Dinky very busy at her summer job as head dipper dinky. It’s an important job and she is working extra hard – look how full her dinky tip jar is! According to the sign, the Dipper Dinkies are looking to hire another dipper. Do you know anyone who would do a good job?
#6 The Bookworm Dinkies (TRUE BLUE Gallery)
Whether stretched out on a tree branch just out of sight, or curled up on a porch swing, you can bet that the dinkies are busy reading the summer away. The Dinky Public Library is hosting its annual summer reading program again and there are so many wonderful books to read. Of course even a human will have heard of some of the great classics of dinky literature: A Tale of Two Dinkies, The Lion, the Dinky, and the Wardrobe, and of course The Dinkies Karamazov by Fyodor Smallstoevsky. Look alive—dinky activity is frequently reported in the gallery’s window. You just might catch a glimpse of dinky librarian, Buckram Dinky. Shhh—you don’t want to scare him away…or interrupt his reading!
#7 The Granger Dinkies (Grace of Alden)
If you don’t look carefully, you’re likely to miss the many Dinky farms tucked across Antrim county. To the untrained eye, these tiny pasturelands are easy to miss because they are plotted discreetly between human gardens, behind unused tool sheds, and along the edges of forests. Here, farmer dinkies grow crops to feed their big dinky families. Being a cooperative sort of being, the dinkies have come together to form a society which mirrors one of our own human institutions: The National Grange. In the Dinky Grange Hall, as in the human Grange Hall which once occupied this same site, the little farmers convene to promote the economic and political well-being of their community and agriculture.
#8 The Outlaw Dinkies (The Pear Tree)
Uh oh, the dinkies need your help! That rascal Dillinger Dinky has broken into the bank vault and stolen all the gold. Follow his footsteps to recover the loot. But be careful, he is the most dangerous outlaw in all the dinky land. Wanted in three counties, you wouldn’t want to square off with him in a dark alley. His gang of dinky bandits travels heavily armed with dinky deringers, whose rounds are apt to give your ribs a good tickle.